If I were fire, I'd burn up the world

If I were fire, I'd burn up the world;
if I were storm, I'd raise a giant swell
and drown it all; if I were God I'd hurl
this rat's-ass circus all the way to hell.
If I were pope, how happy I would be!
I'd cheat the Christians blind and suck their blood.
To serve as emperor I might agree,
so I could chop off everybody's head.
If I were Death, I'd go to see my dad —
of course with mother I would do the same.
If I were Life, I'd run from them like mad.
If I were Cecco, as indeed I am,
I'd take the lovely and the lively dames
and leave for you the ugly and the sad.